Navel Gazing, Part I

Oh, the 30 days of truth posts. I'll be honest. I usually skip them. Sometimes, it might catch my eye and I might read, but mostly, I just zip on by them in my reader. Sorry, if your a 30-day-er.

Now, here I am, joining in on the fun (or not-so-fun, depending on how you view it). Here's my reasoning:

• I can be more "truthfull" here on this blog than on my other one.


• I am writing more for me here because I have very few readers here (by choice).


• I need more self-discovery and I figure this is cheaper than a trip to my therapist.


• I know those of you reading will forgive me for this self-indulgent, navel-gazing. (Again, my apologies to other 30-day-ers.)

DAY 1--Something you hate about yourself.
It greatly annoys me that when I read this, my first thought was of something that is superficial. I don't like to think about myself as superficial, but my first thought was that I hate my nose. How dumb. I am about more than my nose.

What I really hate about myself, isn't far from that because, what I really hate is that I care way too much about what other people think about me. Whether it's about how I look, how fat I am (or am not) or about whether something I did or said was the right thing or not, I am constantly worried about those kinds of things. Quite often, I ruminate forever and ever about things I've said or done. I wonder if they took it the wrong way or if I sounded like an idiot. I play and re-play scenes from my day over and over. It's absolutely annoying and sometimes crippling. If I could, this is one thing I would like to change about myself.

Anyway, that's day 1 for me.

Here are the prompts, in case you want to be a self-indulgent, navel-gazer, too.

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself